I recently returned to my college to collect the things I had left behind when I medically widthdrew earlier in the semester. Arriving at the dining hall at 11 as planned, I expected to find my friends waiting for me, excited to see me again. Only one person was there, and as I started talking to her, I realized that she hadn't even NOTICED that I had been gone for a month. The rest of the crew wandered in about 30 minutes later, acting like I hadn't even been gone a day. They were friendly and polite, but I didn't feel like it even mattered to them that I had been gone, hospitalized for severe anxiety and depression.
I never received a get-well card from anyone at the school. When I didn't return from spring break, no one called to ask where I was. I had told them about the depression and suicidal tendencies, and they had seemed concerned and supportive at the time, but when I disappeared, it didn't seem to matter. I have trouble enough with relationships. What can I do?
Answer:
You have not been unreasonable. What could be happening is maybe they are thinking you need time off. How did you treat them before. Not that you did something wrong, but did you talk about your condition a lot. Some people get annoyed when somebody is talking about their problems a lot. About them thinking you may need time for yourself, when I got sick all of a sudden did not have friends at that time I thought nobody wanted me but it was me withdrawing from social situations without knowing at that time I was doing that. Later talk to a friend and ask her why she never visited me she said that she thought I wanted to be alone. Some people not consider emotional conditions as an illness and may think you are just overeacting. Another thing and this is totally true some people are so busy and ego centered that they dont have time to think about others. Think about yourself now and take time to care for yourself and when people care about themselves first friends will come along. You have a friend here
email me damarys_oo@yahoo.com that is letters not zeroes.
Good Luck
You aren't unreasonable, but you can't rely on anyone to make you happy. Unfortunately, people are selfish. Realize that you have a lot to offer and be confident in yourself. Relationships will follow, but you have to care about yourself before you can expect others to care.
You're actually very attached to the story. Is it necessary to have a story to feel the sadness.? No.
not being unreasonable most people dont understand or know how to react to you condition
im so sorry to hear this and no your not being unreasonable but the depression can make it seem even worse. if you can get one of your supposed friends, ask them why, and even if you think it might not be what you want to hear you still need to hear it. ask them if as a friend you were to clingy to bossy etc. Dont let them see youre upset by the answer even if you are but at least youll know and when you go on and make other friends youll know how not to be. good luck
I am really sorry to hear that this happened to you. :( I had a similar situation happen when I was in college.
It is tough to realize that you don't mean as much to your friends as they mean to you. All I can tell you is that if you take care of yourself and get better, you will attract a different crowd to you. Chalk this up to part of your recuperation process and move on with your life. Set some goals and work toward them! You can do it!
Good luck! :)
People are very self-centered in college and with so many things going on: school, jobs, relationships, etc. its hard for them to remember people once they are not in plain sight. If these were close friends that I had had for years, yes, I'd be very upset because they should remember you. If these are acquaintances that you had only met since you got to college this year, then I would still be upset, but I would realize that you are not as ingrained on their memories where they would think much about you when you're not around.
If you had made plans to meet them at the dining hall, then yes, it was very rude of them to come late. However, I think you might just be imagining the part about them not realizing you were gone. It might be that they just want to ignore it because they don't know what to say or how to react. They might just want things to go back to how they were before you left. Immature, but a normal behavior.
Dear Rachel
Love yourself more and when you do, you will cease to think about hurting yourself. Are you looking for love %26 attention from your friends?
You can't change people but you can change yr attitude towards people. This is when no matter what other ppl do to you, you can choose to stay detached. Only you have the power over yourself to disallow others to hurt you.
If you are having trouble wt relationships, take a moment to reflect and see yourself the way others see you. Understand that what energy you generate around you, usually comes back to you - be it positive or negative.
Mahatma Gandhi said, "You must be the change you want the world to be."
Best regards
http://www.selfempoweredwoman.com...
Your friends may not know what to say to you and feel uncomfortable.. Don't take thier behavior personal because its not. You are much stronger than you may think you are. You obviously came through a very rough period in your life and you are on the road to recovery. Don't let other people set the tone for how you feel. I went through what you are going through about 20 years ago. I reentered college in my 30s and got my degree going part time. I am now very happy and have not been anxious or depressed for at least the past 20 years. The anxiety and depression will fade away once you stop judging yourself and stop running your life in accordance with someone elses expectations. Let yourself be happy.
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