I have a lot of self esteem issues and I see a therapist. When we start to talk about that I feel like crying. Why am I so emotional when it comes to talking about my self esteem problems? Is it a hard thing to talk about or is it just me?
Answer:
oh, wow, self-esteem is such a hard thing to think about and it's very easy to be emotional about it. I mean, when you think about your self-esteem you're automatically thinking about all the things that negatively affect it, and that can ramp up the bad feelings.
Sometimes, for me, talking about how I have poor self-esteem doesn't actually make me feel better. in fact, it can make me feel worse. I think it's great to talk to a therapist, and you probably need one, I just know what started to help me was trying to do things (with the guidance of my therapist) that would help improve my self-esteem, like excercize and other things to tackle areas where I felt guilt, etc.
But talking about self-esteem is very hard. It's not just you. It WILL improve if you can fight the bad feelings with proactive behaviors.
Good luck!
many people have self esteem problems try doing daily affirmations
It can be hard to talk about the way you view yourself, specifically if it is negative. No one wants to see themselves as weak, or anything other than perfect. The only problem with that assessment is that it is usually delusional and can always create problems when you fail to live up to your high expectations of yourself. Low esteem is of course based on how you measure yourself next too others. Usually this is a waste of time, because the only true measure is height and weight and nothing more. Your personality is unique, your perceptions are unique, and the way you think of yourself is a thousand times more critical than anyone else around you.
There are two basic reasons for low self-esteem. Usually you were abused as a child either physically, mentally or both. Making you feel as if you had less worth than others around you. The other is not being abused, but rather spending a great deal of time comparing yourself to others or looking to others to approve and confirm your existance. In both cases as your view of yourself decreases the opinion of others takes a greater role in how you view yourself, therefore if anyone says, or implies anything negative, it can be a serious blow to your ego.
Do yourself a favor, and take those pictures of the beautiful people off your mirror, and out of your room. The real beauty, is not what you think it is. It is not approval, it is not physical (though you will find more and more people seeking approval on that basis.) nor is it something as tangible as what you look like to yourself in the mirror. You will never be what you want, do what you want or have a better view of yourself, so long as that comparison is on the beautiful person down the road. If you look deep enough you'll find that that beautiful person has problems of their own, and there is no one, not one single person who is without problems.
Base yourself on who you really are, and if you don't know make a list. Good on one side, bad on the other. Don't base anything on what other people have said, or done or want. Just use your own judgement, when your done, begin to honestly think how you can change those things you consider bad. No I don't mean plastic surgery or anything like that. I mean what can you do in your own way of thinking that will make this bad thing better. Choose only one thing at a time starting with something small. When you have achieved what you consider to be success. Cross it off the list, and move on. One rule is you cannot go back to something once you have crossed it off your list.
Finally check your list to see how many of your bads are just opposites of your goods. Such as Intelligent as a good and dumb bad. This is useless because is it possible to be ingelligent about some things and dumb as dirt about others. Sorry I got a bit wordy, but remember how you feel about yourself is the most important, what others say, do or whatever mean nothing unless you allow it to do so. In other words it is up to you to fix what you consider broken, you cannot allow others to have any input into your opinion of yourself, at least not right now. Be selfish, be self absorbed at least for the moment. Good luck
See http://www.more-selfesteem.com It's not easy!
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